Galimatias

why is it I only seem to complain these days

Can’t for Once I say something good.

“Today we had good weather”

but today I got rained on while I was jogging…..

“I had a fun day”

but i didn’t do anything so it was a boring day….

“nothing bad happened today!”

I tripped and whacked my head twice…..

I only seem to complain.

and I seem to always start my writings with the word “I”

I want to escape

I want to run

I want freedom

I can feel the walls closing in on me, I can see the world growing smaller with each passing second.

I hate it.

Since when did the world become so painful?

No…that’s the wrong question to ask.

Since when did I begin to see the world as my enemy?

when did I begin to lose faith in it?

Does anyone remember Alex Lugo?

the little boy who was a smart, friendly, energetic boy.

The one who loved to help others and was never afraid to give an answer.

what happened to him?

When did that friendly little boy grow up to become such a sad insecure teenager.

When did he become Lugo, the kid who killed off his emotions and hids behind knowledge?

They say High School changes people.

and I promised myself that I wouldn’t change.

looks like I broke that promise.

Alex Lugo died.

and all that’s left is his shadow

all that’s left is Lugo whatever the hell his last name is.

nothing more.

nothing less.

I rarely go on anymore, Yet when I do go on I always never have anything good to say.

My mom finally snapped…again. She started cleaning everything in are already filth cluttered home. She found things dad forgot to do then started telling me to stop pulling crap like that! She got so pissed off at this fan my dad bought that she literally grabbed the power cord and just forcfully pulled it out! she pulled hard enough that the end of the cord went flying behind her and hit me :O Im really accident prone huh? I dont think she noticed though :\

She threw out most of dad’s stuff. Im going to go get it and hide it in my room. They always fight when either of them loses their things.

So now instead of sleeping in my usual “on-the-floor-make-shift” bed which is the only avalible place to put the stuff my dad’s going to go searching for, I guess that leaves “make-shift” bed number 3 as the only place I can sleep on DX I could try making a bed in my closet until I make more room. that might be a nice idea.

sigh….

Working my ass off at home so my mom dosn’t go crazy and angry at my dad then getting lecures and punishments about how lazy I am for doing absolutly nothing.

just another day in the life of me i guess -_-

Your lying to yourself and your lying to everyone else.

please stop! just shut up and listen to yourself for once.

Im a wannabe? youre such a hypocrite you know that?

you pretend to be something your not then you tell me that I should stop pretending?

I know who I am, but do you? telling the world that you can’t love when all you ever do is act heartbroken or like a little obsessed fan girl.

just let it die already, its been 2 years. move on, let go, and just keep trying.

Youre fighting over a dead end. a done deal.

if you want to be such a bitch to me then please, be a bitch. just dont start talking to me all happy-like 30 minutes later.

so stop telling me to quit being such a little failure when youre doing the EXACT (yes exact) same thing as me.

commodo iustus exsisto quietis! commodo operor non planto is congelo mihi iam efficio.

Volo futurus vestri amicus tamen vos volo quispiam magis.

Volo nobis moror propinquus tamen vestri iustus tearing nos seorsum.

quare cannot vos animadverto ut ego diligo suus?

quare can vos non vos iustus alieno super mihi?

ego teneo ut facillimus loquor tunc perfectus tamen vos es unus quisnam innutum mihi experior ,

sic commodo tendo vestri precipio deleo meus existence ex vestri pectus pectoris , ego eram nunquam vere illic ut suscipio per.

Libera me, Domine, de morte aeterna,

in die illa tremenda. in die illa

Quando coeli movendi sunt terra,

Dum veneris judicare saeculum per ignem.

Tremens factus sum ego et timeo,

dum discussio venerit atque ventura ira.

Dies illa, dies irae,

calamitatis et miseriae.

dies illa dies magna.

et amara valde. et amara valde.

Requiem aeternam, dona eis Domine.

et lux perpetua luceat eis,

Libera me, Domine.

I’m sorry that this had to happen, I’m sorry that you had to say goodbye.

It makes me feel sick inside knowing that your hurting and that I can’t do a thing to help.

I was never very good at cheering people up, I was always the one making them suffer. Even if this isn’t my fault, I can’t help but feel that it is.

I want to be there for you, I want to protect you from all the pain.

If there was a way I would do it just to stop your hurtful tears.

I wish there was a way.

HaHa I should probably say this now but….I have no clue WTF I’m doing…DX

I mean it! I’m like technologically retarded.

Everything on tumblr.com is so new (*stares around with noob eyes.*)

…I wish I knew what I was doing! XDD

I wish there was something i could do.

but my silence only drags you further into the dark.